It is important to get what you want, but make sure that you are not hurting others while you are on your track of success. If you find yourself putting other people in bad situations so that you can be the one that gains, then eventually it will catch up to you, and you will lose trust with those around you. Instead, you need to find ways to create win-win situations, and make sure that you are adding value to other’s lives, and not just always taking away. If you just always take value away from people, then people will not want to work with you.
You are lying on your deathbed. While you are lying there, you reflect on your life. You think about all of the things that transpired. The sweet times, the sad times, the shameful times, the happy times. Think about your first kiss, your first job, your best moment. Think about all those memories. For whatever reason, you have kept those memories. But why!? What made it worth it to you? What were you most proud of? What were your struggles? What did you take for granted? What would you do if you had a second chance? What would you change? What gave you fulfillment? What did you live for?
Let me rephrase the point with another question. What do you really, really, really, really, really, really want? REALLY! Define it. What drives you? What is your purpose? What makes you, you? What impact do you want to leave? How do you want people to think of you? How do you want to think of yourself? What makes you happy? What do you like to do? What is your passion? What are your fears? How do you want to contribute to society? How do you want to change the world? How can you affect the greatest number of people in the greatest way? Why do you do what you do now? What kind of memories do you want to make?
People are mostly reactive to the events in their lives, rather than controlling their mind, emotions and actions.
We think – a lot. We have an innumerate amount of thoughts that pass through our brains on a day-to-day basis, especially in today’s day in age. But too often, we let our thoughts control the way we feel, rather than determining how we are going to feel by compartmentalizing our minds. We overanalyze life circumstances, and that drives our emotions.
This get’s dangerous when many negative events in life continually occur. When the coin keeps flipping to the wrong side, and luck doesn’t seem to be on one’s side, then life becomes a cycle of negativity. We can get overwhelmed by the amount of negativity. Then before we know it, those thoughts created other similar thoughts and we end up in a rabbit hole of hardship, bad energy, and feeling enslaved.
This life isn’t always far, but instead of being controlled by our life circumstances, we need to learn how to master our minds to control how we want to feel, how we handle situations, and how overcome gracefully. We cannot control what happens to us, but we can control how we choose to handle them and move forward.
People mostly let pressures of society govern what they want. They feel like they need to fit the mold of what is acceptable, and keep up with the Jones’. They really don’t know what they want because they have never taken the time to really figure out who they are.
Figuring out who you are is the first step to figuring out what you want.
So who are you? Really? When was the last time you looked within to reflect on yourself so that you can use your authenticity to define what it is that you want? You know yourself better than anyone else, so you should know exactly what you want, right? What makes you happy? What makes you fulfilled?
Ask yourself this question, “Do what I want and what I am getting align?”. If so, then wonderful, keep it up. If not, research yourself to understand what drives you.
When things don’t go our way, we have a tendency to isolate and disengage with others and our emotions. We try to find balance in our lives with the positive things, we separate ourselves, or ignore the issue by trying to cover it up with other issues. In reality, we find ourselves in a state of being controlled by that which we try to disengage from; Our thoughts and actions become a reaction to what we are trying to self-protect from. Those issues become engrained in our behavior throughout day-to-day life, and are we are molded by those circumstances. Brene Brown (https://brenebrown.com/) says it best, “When we deny our stories and disengage from tough emotions, they don’t go away, they own us, they define us.”
Therefore, in order to heal and live wholly, we need to not disengage, but rather, we need to understand who we are and why it is we feel that way. What in our values doesn’t align with what is happening? What has happened in our past that has created this sense of denial? What is the root cause of the issue? Then, we shed the light of understanding upon our situations. We can then change and make decisions that are not driven by fear, anxiety, or self-protection, and rather, we can start making decisions based on desire, love, and self-fulfillment.
Not only does this world offer a wealth of information that will be necessary on your journey of changing, but today’s seasons will change as well. You need to learn to ebb and flow with the current circumstances and apply different solutions to the existing environment. Different people and situations require unique approaches. Switching up your technique to derive a different result can be revolutionary.
The majority of people try to avoid change because it makes them feel uncomfortable. People become stagnant through all the knowns, rituals and similarities. While it is good to find what rings true to your heart and what you like, I challenge you to get out of your box as well. Build on top of the things that you hold onto and experience the blessing of newness.
Cling to what you want, because it won’t be easy. You shouldn’t want your goals to be easy. If they were easy, everyone would have it and would be doing it. If it were easy, it would not be worth as much to you when you achieve it. This is where holding onto faith and hope becomes a necessary ingredient to your success. You always need to face adversity with faith, hope & love.
The problem is that people don’t really know what they want. Of those people who do know what they want, many don’t know why they want it or how to get it — or even believe they can have it. In other words, people don’t realize their abilities.
“What do you want to be?” a boy asked a man. The man chuckled and replied with an open heart, “A child again. To dream the dreams of childhood. To see the visions of far shores and trees, for I am a man with a dream fulfilled, and I am not complete. I’ve sung the songs, I’ve played the tunes. My heart has felt the beat. I felt the flutter of a butterfly wing against my summer cheek. If now I am asked ‘what will you be?’ I will be it all. I will climb more mountains, I will cross more creeks. My hands will touch the sky. I will sing, I will build, I will share my love, all before I die.
So, if now I am asked ‘what will you be?’ I will be it all. More dreams to fill, for I am not complete.