When things don’t go our way, we have a tendency to isolate and disengage with others and our emotions. We try to find balance in our lives with the positive things, we separate ourselves, or ignore the issue by trying to cover it up with other issues. In reality, we find ourselves in a state of being controlled by that which we try to disengage from; Our thoughts and actions become a reaction to what we are trying to self-protect from. Those issues become engrained in our behavior throughout day-to-day life, and are we are molded by those circumstances. Brene Brown (https://brenebrown.com/) says it best, “When we deny our stories and disengage from tough emotions, they don’t go away, they own us, they define us.”
Therefore, in order to heal and live wholly, we need to not disengage, but rather, we need to understand who we are and why it is we feel that way. What in our values doesn’t align with what is happening? What has happened in our past that has created this sense of denial? What is the root cause of the issue? Then, we shed the light of understanding upon our situations. We can then change and make decisions that are not driven by fear, anxiety, or self-protection, and rather, we can start making decisions based on desire, love, and self-fulfillment.